alfabettezoupe

November 2010 Mix

2010-11-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

Erin

2010-10-24T23:09:00.001-04:00

My sister, Erin, was murdered 18 years ago today. She was only 15 years old.

To me she’ll always be 15 even though she’d now be 33. I’ve never thought about whether she’d be married with children now, because in mind she’s still “a kid”.

It still hurts to think about her but the pain is now less raw. The guilt that I felt over surviving while she did not still remains but I’ve learned to make a sort of peace with it.

Whenever people ask me about her, a thousand memories flash before my eyes. I see the little sister who would eat wonton soup with me and grill me about what kindergarten was like before butchering the hair on my Barbie dolls. I remember how she’d wake me in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep and we’d talk about anything and everything and she’d make me promise we’d always be close. I’m reminded of how brave and fearless she was on our first solo jaunt through the streets of London. And I can picture vividly the night before she died, the two of us babbling at each other in our weird made up language, much to the displeasure of her boyfriend.

I don’t hate the man who took her away from us. I know that sounds strange. I just don’t have it in me, I think. Hating him requires giving him conscious thought… and he’s just not worth it. He’s already taken so much from me without giving him that much more of my soul. And it’s not to say that I’ve forgiven him, because I don’t know that I have, but I don’t hate him.

Some people say that you somehow know you’re about to die, that you have some sort of feeling or premonition. I tend to agree with them. On the day my sister died, we saw an ambulance pass our car. She turned down the radio and looked at me, the picture of seriousness, and told me that she wasn’t afraid of death. I told her she was being morbid and tried to change the subject, but she continued on saying that when you died you didn’t hurt anymore physically or emotionally and you would be in a place where you would be okay. Considering the events that happened in the months prior to that day, I hope she was right.

The last time I saw my sister was a few days after her death when we were preparing to leave the funeral home for the church. I was only alone with her for a few moments. I remember telling her how much I loved her, how much I missed her and leaning over and kissing her face.

Every now and again I’ll tell myself that I wouldn’t remember her voice were I to hear it, or that I wouldn’t know her if I saw her. It scares me to think that there might come a time when I don’t remember her, so I hold on dearly to the memories that I do have. All those memories, good and bad, are all I have left on someone who isn’t here anymore.

If there is a heaven and an afterlife, I hope she’s there and that she knows how much she is loved and missed. I hope that she’s no longer in any sort of pain and that she doesn’t begrudge us having to go on with our lives without her. I hope I get to see her again.

I love you Erin and I miss you every single day.

It’s Halloween!

2010-10-24T16:16:00.001-04:00

Joel Burns: It Gets Better

2010-10-16T01:09:00.001-04:00

Just hold on. It really does get better.

That's the message Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns shared in an emotional speech during Tuesday night's council meeting, saying his goal was to reach out to youths everywhere who are struggling with being gay.

During a moving speech, Burns said it tears him up each time he hears about youths taking their own lives somewhere in America after being bullied because of their sexuality or simply struggling with it.

Burns, who is gay, said he'd like to give his 13-year-old self -- who also struggled with being gay -- glimpses into the future.

His younger version would see him meeting his partner, being loved by his parents, winning a City Council election, Burns said.

"High school was difficult, coming out was painful," he said. "I want to tell any teen who is watching this, life will get better. ... Life will get so, so, so much better."

Burns' sometimes tearful comments drew praise from his fellow council members.

"So very proud of my friend and colleague Joel Burns for his stance against bullying of gay youth and those perceived to be gay," Councilwoman Kathleen Hicks wrote on Facebook during the meeting. "I am sure he saved many tonight."

Councilman Sal Espino echoed Hicks' thoughts.

"Burns displayed tremendous personal courage today in speaking out against bullying against youth and children particularly gay youth in light of the recent tragedies," he also posted on Facebook. "Fort Worth is a diverse community and we believe that all of God's children should be treated with dignity, compassion, and love."

Sara’s October 2010 Mix

2010-10-15T11:42:00.002-04:00

Q & A

2010-10-09T16:03:00.000-04:00

Question: What is your favorite John Lennon song, and why?

I had to think long and hard about this one. Imagine is pretty high up there, as is Give Peace a Chance, but I’d have to pick Oh My Love.

It’s hard to listen to the lyrics and the conviction in his voice in the song and not get a glimpse into just how much he loved Yoko Ono. Love her or hate her, you have to have a small amount of admiration for the woman who inspired such a beautiful, yet simple, love song.

Michael Urie: It Gets Better

2010-10-06T20:44:00.001-04:00

Neil Patrick Harris: It Gets Better

2010-10-06T20:42:00.001-04:00

"For the love of Pete, there's no need to harm yourself if something is going bad... Stand tall. Be proud of who you are."

San Francisco: It Gets Better

2010-10-06T20:27:00.001-04:00

Sarah Silverman's Message to America, on Gay Suicide

2010-10-06T20:17:00.001-04:00

Pauley Perrette: It Gets Better

2010-10-06T20:07:00.001-04:00

The Trevor Project: It Gets Better!

2010-10-06T13:33:00.001-04:00

If you or someone you know needs help, call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866.488.7386) or visit http://www.TheTrevorProject.org.

If you're being bullied in school, you're not alone. There is someone here for you - someone who cares and understands. The Trevor Project operates a free and confidential Lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth that operates 24/7.

Believe us: IT GETS BETTER!

Chris Colfer: It Gets Better

2010-10-06T13:29:00.001-04:00

Tim Gunn: It Gets Better

2010-10-05T16:14:00.001-04:00

Goodbye Rahm Emanuel!

2010-10-03T12:27:00.000-04:00

Magic - A Belly Grows

2010-10-01T14:30:00.001-04:00

Magic - A Belly Grows from The Panic Room Videos on Vimeo.

If you have never seen the Belly Pictures series. Please click HERE and start scrolling down.

RIP Amy

2010-09-30T23:16:00.001-04:00

Amy Harville Turner was the first born to Al and Wilma Harville (Trice) formerly of Henderson, TN, at 2:30 AM November 18, 1975 at Druid City Hospital in Tuscaloosa, AL. She transitioned to be with the Lord, Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 12:51 AM. Amy was a beautiful 7 lb. 8 oz. healthy baby with a set of strong lungs with great endurance. Amy was born into a spirit-filled home which led her to obey the gospel at the age of 12 and be baptized into the body of Christ at the Campus Church of Christ in Atlanta, GA. Through her childhood, Amy's family relocated several times. She attended grade school in Pittsburg, PA and Gainesville, FL. She attended middle and high school in Lawrenceville, GA. In a beautiful wedding ceremony in Memphis, TN on August 28, 2010, Amy and Archie L. Turner, Jr. were united in marriage. Their ceremony was held at the Woodland Hills Church of Christ and many friends and family were there to witness their union. Amy had a passion for science and math and was driven to achieve excellence in everything she did. She was an accomplished string instrument musician and rose to become one of the best viola players in the All-State Orchestra of GA while in high school for three years in state competition. A graduate of Central Gwinnett High School of Gwinnett County, GA, Amy attended Kutztown University of Kutztown, PA with a degree in Microbiology, minor in Chemistry and a Masters Degree in Business from the University of Phoenix in Detroit, MI. She formerly worked as a Microbiologist and Scientist for King Pharmaceutical. Most recently she worked at Stryker Medical Instruments as a Pre-Market Supervisor in the Regulatory Affairs Department. Amy leaves behind to cherish her memory a loving husband, Archie; a mother and father, Al and Wilma Harville of Cordova, TN; one sister, Dana R. Harville of Winston Salem, NC; a father-in-law, Archie Sr.; two brother-in-laws; two sister-in-laws, eleven nieces and nephews, numerous aunts, uncles, and a host of cousins and friends spread throughout the USA.

Guestbook

"We can't let intolerance and ignorance take another kid's life."

2010-09-30T21:06:00.001-04:00

"Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it."
Resources to Help Stop Bullying

This Reporter LOVES Obama

2010-09-30T20:44:00.001-04:00

Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project

2010-09-25T20:34:00.000-04:00

I just read about a gay teenager in Indiana—Billy Lucas—who killed himself after being taunted by his classmates. Now his Facebook memorial page is being defaced by people posting homophobic comments. It's just heartbreaking and sickening. What the hell can we do?

Gay Bullying Victim Who Survived

Another gay teenager in another small town has killed himself—hope you're pleased with yourselves, Tony Perkins and all the other "Christians" out there who oppose anti-bullying programs (and give actual Christians a bad name).

Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother's property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates—classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.

Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids.

"My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas," a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. "I wish I could have told you that things get better."

I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.

But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.

Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.

So here's what you can do, GBVWS: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.

I've launched a channel on YouTube—www .youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don't dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we've gone and things we've experienced—that we would've missed out on if we'd killed ourselves then.

"You gotta give 'em hope," Harvey Milk said.

Today we have the power to give these kids hope. We have the tools to reach out to them and tell our stories and let them know that it does get better. Online support groups are great, GLSEN does amazing work, the Trevor Project is invaluable. But many LGBT youth can't picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can't imagine a future for themselves. So let's show them what our lives are like, let's show them what the future may hold in store for them.

The video my husband and I made is up now—all by itself. I'd like to add submissions from other gay and lesbian adults—singles and couples, with kids or without, established in careers or just starting out, urban and rural, of all races and religious backgrounds. (Go to www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject to find instructions for submitting your video.) If you're gay or lesbian or bi or trans and you've ever read about a kid like Billy Lucas and thought, "Fuck, I wish I could've told him that it gets better," this is your chance. We can't help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don't think they have a future—and we can help them.

They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.

source

VROOM!

2010-09-24T21:53:00.002-04:00

I replaced my Scion tC with a Lexus RX!

Obamateurism

2010-09-23T11:17:00.001-04:00

Gossip Girl returns Monday!

2010-09-09T22:57:00.003-04:00

Kids Reenact: E!'s "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"

2010-09-09T22:46:00.002-04:00

Happy Labor Day!

2010-09-06T00:00:00.000-04:00